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Chapter Five: Loss
I don’t know how long I lay in His embrace. We watched at least three films and a few sitcoms though. He lay with His back in the corner of our little blue couch, His legs across the seats with me lying between them, my back to His chest. His big arms were warm around my waist and His fingers stroked lazy patterns on my skin. It actually felt nice. But it also scared me. What was His game? Was He trying to lull me into a false sense of security? Once I relaxed, would He pounce? I couldn’t tell.
In the last few days, I had come to expect a certain level of cruelty and humiliation from Him. I was resigned to the fact that I was His and had no control over His actions towards me. I had gone through several emotional changes and was now at another. I was afraid. I was afraid that He was changing. That His being nice to me was a sign that He cared. And I didn’t want that. I wanted Him to be cruel and harsh and hateful. It made it so much easier to hate Him then. I wanted to hate Him. It was easier to hate Him. My hate was my focus. My hate for Him distracted from the betrayal and pain. Yes, hate was good. I needed to hate.
So why was it getting harder? Why was it that every small kiss to my hair, every rub of Him fingers, every comforting squeeze, was taking my hate and replacing it with….familiarity and peace? Was I insane and hadn’t realised? Where was the peace coming from?
As we watched yet another rerun of Friends, His hands slowly ran up my arms to my shoulders and back. I could feel His hips shifting beneath me. His fingers dug into the tense muscles of my shoulders and I couldn’t stop the small moan of pleasure. My spin arched of its own accord and my ass pressed into His groin. He took this as a signal and His wandering hands found my breasts and continued their work, massaging and chasing away my tension. The firm pressure was delicious and my body responded with a small flood of liquid from between my legs. As I was still naked from our earlier encounter, the liquid slowly dripped down between the crease of my ass and onto His trousers.
His skilled fingers caressed my flesh, rubbing and flicking my nipples until they were hard buds, standing at elmadağ escort attention. The attention to my breasts was causing a lovely fluttering feeling in my stomach and pussy and my body wanted more. My knees fell open, spreading my sex and my hands clenched and twisted against His trouser legs. I felt conflicted. My body wanted more of His attention, but my mind wanted nothing to do with Him. My body begged for His touch while my mind begged for His departure.
As He slipped His fingers down my stomach, I shuddered. His fingers found my open pussy and dived between the swollen, wet outer lips. He strummed my clit and rimmed my hole. Teasing and tormenting me with light touches that left me wanting more. I groaned and thrust up against His fingers. I needed to feel something inside my burning channel. I needed to feel full. My arms wound around His neck and His panting breath bathed my ear. His own hips were pushing against my ass and He was moaning my name.
Two of His fingers slammed into my little channel and the pressure and feel of them wiggling inside me set me off. I came, hard and long. I groaned and panted and shuddered in His arms and He Held me tight and whispered hotly in my ear.
“That’s it baby, cum for me, let me feel you squeezing my fingers. Cover me with your love juice Sweetie. Fuck! You’re so hot. You have no idea how much I love watching you cum. No idea. Mmmmm God baby, I’m not gonna last long now.”
I pumped my hips against His fingers, His palm rubbing against my clit each time. It felt so good and wanted it to last longer. But it soon started to end and my body came back to earth. I lay panting and sleepy, as He stroked my thighs and stomach.
“Baby, I need to have you now. I’ve waited as long as I can, but I need that sweet pussy now.”
I shot up. His words causing an alarm to go off inside me. I was a virgin and had heard that a first time could hurt. Also although I was feeling slightly comfortable around Him, didn’t mean that I trusted him not to hurt me again. In fact I expected him to hurt me for the joy of it.
He mistook my sudden move, obviously as His own movements became rushed and rough. He moved esenyurt escort around me until he was kneeling beside my calves. One hand lay on my shoulder while the other slipped between my thighs. He pushed me back and His mouth found the nipples he had recently pleasured. His tongue continued the sweet torture His fingers had started already. He re-positioned my legs, one thrown over the back of the couch, the other over the edge. This spread me better to His view and he moaned. My pussy creamed from the rough treatment and the urgency of the matter.
I pushed against His shoulders. My virginity was the only thing I had left. At His hands I had lost my dignity and pride, been forced to do humiliating things for His amusement. My virginity was the last thing that was mine.
My efforts got me nowhere. His strength surpassed mine and he easily pushed His body down on top of my own. His t-shirt rubbed against my sensitive nipples and they stiffened between us. He moved His hand to His jeans and fumbled with the buttons, grunting and panting with the effort. His weight smothered me and I could barely breath as I waited, laying passively beneath Him.
It seemed like an eternity later that he was ready, His throbbing prick pulsing as it lay across my mound. I waited for Him to hurt me. To push inside me and tear my tight sheath. But he didn’t move. He lay, with His weight pressing me down into the couch, His eyes looking into mine and a slight smile on His lips.
No, don’t look at me like that. I screamed in my head. I couldn’t take how he looked at me. With love, and affection. I couldn’t handle that. I NEEDED to hate him. He was raping me after all. But while my head screamed vile insults in His direction, my heart felt lighter. A small part of me was glad he still loved me. That I was still His little girl. I was so confused that I sobbed in frustration.
He soothed me and kissed away my fears, His fingers ran lightly down my neck and shoulders. His hips thrust softly against mine, causing a wonderful sensation against my clit. After a few moments, I was so horny, my juices flowing freely across my thighs and ass, covering His cock. He kissed me gently. etiler anal yapan escort It was the kind of kiss a girl always dreams of, the kind that tells you without words that he loves you. I had dreamt of a kiss like that, all through high school. I never thought I’d get it from my Uncle.
As we kissed, he stroked my breasts, my stomach and my thighs before positioning the head of his cock against my opening. I tensed and he kissed my collarbone as he slowly, gently pushed forward. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. There was a slight tingle of pain, the kind you get when you over use your muscles. I guessed it probably had something to do with dildo he rammed into me earlier.
Soon the head of His dick was kissing my cervix and with a sharp push, slide into the opening of my womb. I gasped and arched. He pulled almost all the way out before steadily pounding back inside. I moaned and wrapped my legs around His waist opening up further for him. My arms slipped around His neck and His hand cupped my ass.
“Oh God, baby. You feel so damn good!!” He moaned in my ear. The deep timber of His voice sent goosebumps across my skin. I yowled and scratched as He rocked into me harder and faster. Soon my orgasm became to much to contain and I came hard around His cock. He growled and picked up the pace.
It wasn’t long before His own orgasm blew, flooding my unprotected womb with His warm fertile seed. His breathing was laboured and he held me tightly, His face buried in my neck.
I lay there stunned and confused. He had been gently and considerate. Caring and loving. Everything a girl could ask for her first time. But I couldn’t understand it. Where was the man who had raped me? Where was the sick person who watched me with delight as I lay in pain? I waited for Him to get up, to say something cruel to ruin the moment. But He didn’t move. He twisted us on the couch, still holding me tightly, until His back was against the soft blue cushions and I was pressed against Him, my ass hanging slightly over the edge. His warm hands rubbed my back and hair as His soft lips trailed kisses across my face, neck and shoulder. I felt anxious, waiting for him to change, but the longer we lay the quicker my anxiety faded.
We lay like that for a long time, just breathing slowly. My hands curled between our chests, His hands holding me close. Soon His breathing deepened and He fell asleep. I lay watching Him, wondering what was going through His head, until I too fell asleep.
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