Love, Lust , Family Pt. 04: Refound

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Its been sometime since the third chapter. For those new to the series I recommend reading earlier chapters. While the following does not have homosexual sex it does touch on the romance between Jesse & Josh. Hope you enjoy and I love reading your comments.

***********

I awoke the next morning, it felt late, I suppose all the late night fucking had worn me out and I was due for a sleep in. Jesse was still sleeping and the thought crossed my mind that I could wake him just as I had during the night for another romp but my horniness had worn off and at this time of day my preference was a hot shower and a coffee.

I’d come to Jesse’s room wearing only my underwear and having spent the night naked in bed with my new lover I pulled on the underpants and dashed back to my room. Mariah was not there and our bed was empty and neatly made. As I showered my mind recalled everything I’d done the night before. Sucking dick, riding cock, being pounded in the ass, fucking Jesse. I did it all and I loved it.

My growing arousal dissipated as my mind wandered to how Mariah might respond to my absence. Maybe she was unaware I left and assumed I’d woken before her? Maybe she thought I’d been with a sister? Maybe she didn’t care where I was? But if she asked, what would I say?

Getting out of the shower I dressed before heading to the kitchen for a coffee. There in the kitchen was Mariah chopping fruit for her breakfast. Jack sat at the nearby dining table with a cup of tea and his iPad.

“Morning Josh.” He greeted looking up from his iPad. “Middle of the pack as far as early risers go.”

I walked over to Mariah to give her a kiss. She hadn’t acknowledged my entrance despite Jack heralding my arrival and as I went in to give her a peck on the cheek she pulled away. Without looking at me she stormed over to the fridge. I stood back to assess the situation, clearly she wasn’t happy that I’d disappeared.

“What’s up sweetie?” I asked cautiously.

“I’m not talking here.” She responded bluntly under her breath not wanting to air her grievances in her father’s presence.

I knew what it was. She was upset I’d left her last night. She was upset to have woken to a cold empty bed.

“Babe, it’s nothing, let’s talk.” I didn’t know what I meant and I didn’t know what I was going to say. I was completely flustered. I’d ignored the fact that I’d cut Mariah out from my exploration and most likely made her feel isolated and alone.

She stormed into the next room and I followed behind with my tail between my legs. Mariah didn’t often get mad which meant that when she did it was scary.

Turning to face me Mariah blurted, “So what then? What did you want to say?”

“I, I, well I just” I was scrambling for words to say, “it’s just that last night I um, well I.”

“It’s just that you’re more interested in fucking someone else than spending time with me” she interrupted.

“That’s not fair.” I responded “It’s you who was sleeping around and it’s you who got me involved with your family.”

Mariah’s face changed from anger to disappointment. “I may have been with other people Josh but I never ignored you and I never stopped loving you. I never choose other people over you like you’ve been doing to me since we got here. I don’t care if you’re fucking my whole family. I care that you want that more than me. You say you love me, well love me more than you love wild sex.”

Mariah began to cry and I was swamped by mixed emotions. I was sad to see her upset but my pride stirred up a feeling that this was unfair and after all I was no different to her. She was the one who had been sleeping around and now she was upset with me for doing the exact same thing.

We stood facing each other, the room was silent, her deep brown eyes were bloodshot and blurred by tears. For a moment I thought to draw her near but my pride resisted, I had done nothing out of bounds with the now open parameters of our relationship and I wanted her to admit she was wrong.

Looking at her blankly she began to sob again and turned and walked out of the room. I was angry and upset. In the moment I felt like only Jesse understood me and I stormed back to his room to be with him.

I walked into Jesse’s room. He was still in bed rubbing his eyes having only just awoken.

“She doesn’t understand me!” I blurted, collapsing on the bed beside him.

“Who doesn’t understand what?” Jesse grumbled as he came out of his slumber.

“Mariah, she doesn’t understand me”, I glanced over at his masculine body, “she doesn’t understand us.”

“Have you let her understand you?” Jesse responded.

“What do you mean?” I replied with frustration.

“Well I was kind of worried that you hadn’t told her about us.” Jesse looked at me, those strong masculine features yet those puppy dog brown eyes, “I mean I wouldn’t want to be with someone that didn’t share what they were feeling.”

His words shattered me, “You don’t want to be with me?” My frustration with Mariah met with the hurt of Jesse’s words.

“That’s not what I said. pendik escort You can share how you feel, you just need to find the words and courage to do it. You know she loves you and you love her. You need to make it work even if that means we won’t be together.”

His words showed a maturity beyond his age, “But I don’t want to be without you,” I responded. I’d fallen in love with this man and couldn’t bear to lose him.

“I know, but you need to tell her that, she just wants to know what you’re feeling. Just remember, you loved her enough that you didn’t freak out when you found out Mariah was intimate with her family. She loves you the same way, so why do you think she’ll freak out when you tell her about being with her family?”

It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was Mariah’s love that helped me discover my new found sexual liberation, but now it was our love that I was losing.

“What have I done?” I murmured to myself.

Jesse’s large yet gentle hands touched my shoulder, “nothing you can’t fix Josh” he reassured me. “But you have to be honest with yourself and honest with her.”

While last night had been filled with lust, my love for Jesse grew in that moment as I looked at him. His ability to provide wisdom with his advice as well as his affectionate touch settling my emotions had me realizing that this boy was more than a sexual fling but someone who I connected with on a deeper level. Incredibly, it’s as though he became even better looking to my eye.

He ran his hand over my chest and wiggled over to cuddle me as I lay on the bed.

“So you’ve changed? Everyone does. I’m sure Mariah loved you before and she’ll love you now.” His gentle touch and understanding words sent a warmth running through my body.

The words bubbled out of me before I could filter them, “I love you Jesse.” They hung in the air. “I mean, I think you understand me better than myself. Like, I’ve always had this missing piece and you’re it.” Still he didn’t respond. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been happy with my life, but, you helped me find a part of myself I never knew I needed.”

With his arm wrapped around me we lay silently on the bed. Had I said too much? Did I feel things he didn’t? I rolled over to face him and our eyes locked and I instantly noticed his eyes were glazed, like he was holding back tears. This was Jesse, so masculine and so tender.

“Josh, I feel for you too. I’ve always enjoyed having you around and I’ve especially loved being close with you on this trip. But I care for you,” he paused for a moment before continuing on, “and for Mariah. What’s most important now is that you keep that relationship strong.”

We lay on the bed arm in arm before Jesse dropped a bombshell that shattered through me, “If it means that we let this relationship go so that you can focus on her, then that’s what we need to do.”

Every moment of the last two days had been occupied with thoughts of Jesse. He’d become an obsession now suddenly he was stepping away.

“You must understand Josh, it’s for your sake. I might have helped you find a piece of your life but I know Mariah is the centrepiece. You have to make things right with her before you try to fit anything else.”

His words turned on the light bulb in my mind. Suddenly it all clicked and I realised the selfishness with which I had treated Mariah. My secrecy must have broken her trust and in my new found desires I’d neglected her. As I turned my attention to Jesse, I realised I’d hurt him too.

“Jes, I’m so sorry.” The words hung in the silence as we lay together. Jesses eyes consoled me that he felt everything would be okay but my anxiety had other thoughts.

We lay together on the behind a few moments as I tried to muster the strength from Jesse to try and fix things with Mariah. I gave him a kiss on the cheek got up and returned to the living room in search of Mariah.

*******

Returning to the living room I found the house had emptied and Mariah was nowhere to be seen. I stood at the kitchen thinking to myself when Susan entered the room.

“She’s gone out with her father, Josh.”

“Oh, okay.” I responded. Having prepared myself for a hard conversation it was an anti climax for her not to be here. “Wait, how’d you know I was looking for her?”

“When a daughter leaves crying with her father I can only assume it has something to do with a boy. It’s been that way since she was a teenager.”

I laughed as a sense of relief the inevitable conversation with Mariah had been delayed. Susan sat down on the lounge, crossing her right leg over her left. Her tanned legs were thick but still had a nice tone and great shape.

I looked at Susan curiously as she flicked through a magazine. She was so overtly sexual without even trying. The mother hen of a wildly erotic family.

Walking over to the sofa near Susan I queried her “Susan, you know what I can’t comprehend is how a family ends up like this. So friendly and warm. And then so sexual and erotic. If you’d told me before tuzla escort I knew you all, I would have thought you were all crazy and weird.”

Susan looked up from her magazine, “We always tried to help the children be exactly who they wanted to be. Who they could be if they didn’t fear what others thought.”

“We also taught them above all else, value kindness, value friendship, value family.”

“I suppose because their father and I are so open with our affection for one another they saw that and decided that’s how they wanted to be. They decided they wanted to show their love for us and for one another through physical affection and it didn’t matter that isn’t how other families show their love.”

“Yeah, wow.” I responded as I pondered what she had said. “I suppose I ask because, well, did you know about Jesse and I?

“Jesse and you? I know about Jesse. And I know about you. But as Jesse and you.”

“So you know about Jesse, that he’s gay”

“I know that Jesse doesn’t fit labels. And that Jesse feels free to love whom he wants if that’s what you mean?”

“Well Jesse loves me. And I love him too.”

“And the complication?”

“I love Mariah too.”

“I don’t see the complication”

“Yeah, well things are definitely complicated right now.”

“Josh you should have figured out by now that Mariah craves connection. She’s desperate for it. Luckily for you, when you make that connection she’s made to feel sexy and that we she’s fulfilled emotionally and sexually.”

“Your muse is the opposite.”

“My muse?” I asked.

“My youngest daughter. The one you don’t take your eyes off when she’s in the room.”

I felt embarrassed that it my infatuation with Samantha was that obvious.

“Samantha needs to be made to feel sexy and once you do that you get the benefit of connecting with her.”

I sat and contemplated her insight before Susan continued on, “Mariah doesn’t understand you because sexy isn’t her priority. When was the last time you connected with her?”

“Yeah, I understand what you’re saying. I suppose I’ve been caught up in my recent, ah, experiences you could say.”

“What about Jesse? How would you sum him up?”

“Jesse, he’s special, they all are I suppose. What makes Jesse different is his satisfaction comes from pleasing others. It can be his best trait and his worst.”

“His worst?”‘ I queried.

“People should never be desperate to please others that they don’t care about. Luckily for Jesse he’s matured quickly and knows he only has to please those who care about him.”

I sat quietly for a moment and contemplated what Susan had shared. Susan was always confident and never worried about an awkward silence.

“So Jesse cares more about Mariah and I than he does himself. If we’re happy, he’s happy.” The words came out of my mouth like a light bulb moment.

“Bingo” Susan replied. “The two of you might be happy together but if you can’t make Mariah happy then Jesse won’t be either.”

“So what do I do?” I asked unwittingly and immediately regretted showing Susan such vulnerability.

“You’re my daughter’s partner and my daughters unhappy” she said bluntly before her face warmed with a smile as she continued on, “but luckily I like you and I think you’re good for my girl if you can learn who she is and how to make her happy.”

Her answer was an encouragement albeit one that didn’t give me much to go on.

Susan stood and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, smiled and walked away. I sat alone looking out the window. I needed to learn who Mariah was? I thought I already had.

********

I’d lounged about the house for hours in anticipation of Mariahs return contemplating Susan’s advice and rehearsing over and over what I might say.

Jesse had come out to the kitchen and fixed some lunch.

“Would you like something Josh?”

“I think I’m too nervous to eat.” I responded.

“It’s past midday now, you must be starving.”

“I am”, I conceded, “but only a little bit for me.”

In no time Jesse had prepared a meal for the two of us. Carrying two plates of food he gestured for me to come outside with him. In all the drama of my morning I’d missed that it was another spectacular day outside. Sitting by the pool in the blissful weather, accompanied by Jesse no less, helped to ease my nerves. As I relaxed we began to converse talking about everything and anything.

Jesse was fascinating. A great conversationalist who took interest in others. It’s was very amicable trait and drew you into liking him. After what felt like hours talking together I felt a sense of sadness that what I had found in Jesse might be lost but I was committed to reconciling with Mariah.

“Your mom gave me some great advice, I mean you did too, but I think your mom helped me figure out how to fix things with Mariah.”

“Yeah, Mom has a way of doing that, she’s a special woman” Jesse responded.

“She is.” I echoed, “and beautiful too.”

Jesse gave me a sly smile ataşehir escort that made me curious.

“You’ve been with your sisters, have you been with your mom?” I asked not expecting an actual answer.

“Been? She’s still being had.”

“Wow.” I couldn’t muster other words, flustered by the thought of a young stud like Jesse being with a mature elegant woman like Susan.

“I mean wouldn’t you Josh?” Jesse said playfully before taking another bite of his meal.

We sat in silence for a little while before a new topic of conversation began.

********

It wasn’t until after 3pm that Mariah drifted in wearing sandals, a flowing floral patterned sarong and her black bikini top. Clearly they’d been to the beach and the salt water had made her long flowing curls appear as though they’d been fixed in a saloon.

Mariah took her time as the suspense grew. I watched her through the window as she set her things down before disappearing into another room.

“I might go” Jesse said, prompting me to respond.

“Just stay for a minute. You’re the only thing relaxing me at the moment.” I responded with a smile resisting the urge to reach out and touch him for reassurance.

Mariah returned she was wearing a long unbuttoned shirt over her bikini, I wasn’t sure if it was my shirt or her father’s. She slowly made her way out to us.

“Hi sweetie” I said, hoping to gauge where she was at by her response.

“Hi”, she responded blankly.

“I might go.” Jesse once again blurted out. I felt like I was losing my only support in an imminent battle.

As he began to stand Mariah softly said, “Stay Jesse. I think it’s best if you stay.”

Jesse awkwardly settled into his chair. He’d been a voice of comfort to me with his confidence in the situation but with the whole thing coming to a head you could visibly see that he to was feeling the pressure.

Jesse and I sat on either side of a small round table facing the swimming pool and Mariah pulled a chair into position between us.

“Josh, I’ve taken some time today to think about what the last few days and in fact the last month must be like. I’m sorry for how things went this morning and I could have handled it differently but I needed you to understand how I felt.”

I interjected “Mariah, I’m so sorry too.”

“Please.” Mariah cut me off. “Let me finish.”

Taking a deep breathe she continued on, “I know some of our breakdown has been because the last few days and month has meant a lot of new experiences for you and some experiences that you might be trying to come to grips with.”

Mariah reached out and touched my hand looking at me with her warm brown eyes,”I just hope”, she paused looking over to Jesse, “I hope there is still room for me in all the change.”

Jesse smiled warmly at his sister before Mariah returned her attention to me.

“Mariah baby I’m so sorry. You’ll always be the most important thing. You’re right” I said looking over to Jesse with a confidence that came from Mariah’s honesty, “the last few days have been very special for me, but today has also shown me that I wouldn’t want anything if it didn’t include you.”

“Can we make this better?” I asked Mariah.

“Of course we can” she responded, leaning in for a kiss. Our lips met with the most tender of kisses. Our lips broke away but our foreheads were pressed together eyes locked on one another.

Looking into my eyes Mariah said, “I love you too Jesse.” Her words reminded me that Jesse still sat there.

“I love you too sis.” Jesse responded. You could hear the smile on his face in the way he talked. “I’m might leave you two for a moment.”

I watched Jesse as he stood and walked away. I hoped that this didn’t mean he was walking out of my life. But if it did, what great act of love is this that he’d give away what we had for the sake Mariah and I.

“We should go too”, said Mariah, “our room is waiting for us.”

After all the build up I couldn’t believe how quickly it had dissipated. Mariah was a special woman, although she’d be worked up every now and then, given time she’d find a way to put me first. To see things from another perspective.

We stood and I followed her to our room. As we walked I tried to catch up with the turn of events. The morning had been a blur of confrontation and hurt but Jesses tenderness and Susan’s wisdom and no doubt Jack’s council to Mariah meant that I was following the girl of my dreams to our room to make love.

I walked into our room and Mariah closed the door behind us. Her unbuttoned shirt left enough space to see the curve of her cleavage in her bikini. Mariahs approached me letting down all the defenses she’d built up earlier in the day.

“I hate resisting you.” She said softly. “I takes so much effort.”

I leant in towards her to whisper in her ear, I could feel her shallow breathing on my neck. I pulled her in towards me.

“You’re always first baby. You’re even before myself.”

Our lips found one another and quickly a gentle kiss became a passionate embrace. My hands began to roam and slipped under her shirt to her warm waist and around to her back. Her skin felt electric from the sun’s heat. We both edged closer to one another we were now forehead to forehead and nose to nose our lips only separating for a deeper breath. The intensity of the emotion between us quickly grew.

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