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“Why would she come?” The thought kept ringing in my brain incessantly. I mean we had been interacting for the last few weeks but that was it. There was nothing more to our exchanges other than a friendly banter. Initially I knew she was innocuous to my wishes and desires until I had made the proposal which I immediately regretted. I wish I had played it out longer. But the inexperience and the need to have everything yesterday had driven me to this rash decision. But then it was too late to back out and hence I decided to pursue it.
It was getting embarrassing, sitting in that cafe for over an hour not ordering anything. The waiters were now staring at me and my uncertain frame of mind was pretty evident on my face. In the hindsight, I think I was perspiring like crazy. But none of that mattered. I was just worried if she would come or not. And even if she did how do I take it forward. I had thought about the conversation that I was going to have with her for a hundredth time but I knew I was on a shaky ground. And this uncertainty held me back from even ordering a coffee. I started thinking about how it all had started.
I had known Aparna for a while, close to a decade and half, considering we stayed in the same building. Honestly, I had a crush on her since the day she got married and moved in the building. The pang of jealously I felt every time she walked in and out with her husband was unexplainable. She must have been in her Mid-20s back then and me in my late adolescence years. My eyes and mind would invariably follow her and wander in her thoughts every time she walked by, racing my heart. These flashes of past made me squirm in my sit. i somehow gathered my thoughts found my voice and ordered for a coffee.
Time flew by, figuratively, so did everyone around me, literally. Yet I was stuck there not only in time but also in space. I saw people around me grow up and move away for better opportunities. Even my parents moved back to our native place but I stayed back trying hard to shape my career and make a mark for myself. The struggle was uphill but I survived and did decently well for myself. The only solace was to watch her age like a fine wine. No matter how much she changed after having 2 kids, she still had my heart racing. I knew that I was nothing more than a forgotten wall hanging, lost in her cluttered life. As far as I remember the only exchanges after so many years were the occasional smiles we exchanged in the lift out mere compulsion or formality rather than will.
I had almost given up the idea of ever interacting with her, until a few weeks back when an unexpected opportunity(like in every other story) opened up for me. It was a Saturday morning and I decided to go out with some friends, visiting from the US, for a brunch. As soon as I entered the restaurant, I noticed her hanging out with her girlfriends, probably for a kitty party. She was looking pretty in the white dress accentuating her curves, long curly hair let loose, a black netted pull over, dusky skin contrasting and complementing her white dress and those luscious red lips with enough make up to make me miss a beat. She caught my eyes and gave me a customary and cursory smile. I reciprocated and rushed to our table a little flushed. I deliberately took a seat to check her out as long as I could. I knew my behaviour was socially unacceptable and would termed as letching but in moments like these your baser instincts supersede your rational brain. I was having a good time with my friends drinking and catching up and occasionally stealing a glance at her. Well to be honest it was more than a glance. Once the lady next to her noticed it and nudged her. Fortunately I saw the nudge and started looking at my plate.
The pitchers of beer were taking a toll on my inhibitions. Soon I was so engrossed in my conversation with friends that I did not realise when she and her girlfriends left. Soon it was time for us to leave. We bid our farewell and went our own way. It was 3 in the afternoon and the summer heat was melting me. The hot and humid weather along with the beer was making me sweat like pig. The white shirt was clinging to my lean body because of the sweat. I was unable to kozyatağı escort get an auto or a cab at this ungodly as the entire world seemed to be relishing their afternoon siesta apart from me. I walked some distance in the heat to notice a familiar person standing. It was Aparna, standing next to her car in this heat fidgeting with her phone. I walked near her and noticed the cause if her concern. She had a flat tyre and there was no one around whom she could ask for help. I walked up to her and offered her help. She looked visible flustered in this heat with beads of sweat rolling down her forehead.
Aparna: “Oh! Can you please?”
Me: “Why not? Its just a tyre change!”
Aparna: “Thanks! I would have done it myself but I am not appropriately dressed for this.”
Me: “I can understand. Just open the boot and I get going.”
Soon I was at work changing tires, with her trying to have a small talk. She informed me that she was trying to reach her husband but it seemed he too was enjoying his siesta and not answering the phone. She would occasionally bend down closer to me and I could smell her perfume and see the cleavage that she was innocuously exhibiting from the corner of my eye. By the time I was done I was drenched in sweat and my white shirt was soiled at places. It was pretty clear that I was not as proficient at this as i thought I was. I brushed my hands off and told her the job was done. She thanked me and offered to drop me home. I looked down at myself, smiled and told her that I was not dressed for the occasion of riding with her and that I will soil her car interiors. She smiled and waived it off and asked me to sit.
We drove towards our house, the cool air from air conditioner against the heat outside was a welcome relief. We started chit chatting and she started thanking me profusely for helping her out. I jokingly told her that you owe me a shirt. She smiled and kept driving. She parked the car and we walked towards the elevators. I was still happy high and in the company of the lady of my dreams. I kept checking her out sometimes slyly, sometimes brazenly. It had to be one of the best days in my recent past. As she was about to get off, I informed her if she was stuck in a similar situation she could call me up and I will be happy to oblige. She smiled and waved me goodbye. In my trance, I went to my flat and lay on the sofa, reminiscing about the afternoon I had.
After a couple of days, I gathered some more courage (fueled by a pack of six) and sent her an ever annoying forward with life message (I had taken her number from the Society Whatsapp group). She messaged back asking who it was. I jumped on seeing her text and reverted introducing myself. She sent me a smiley emoji and that was the end of our 1st conversation. The next few weeks were filled with exchange of forwards and pleasantries but nothing beyond. Slowly we started interacting more frequently, usually during afternoons talking about our mutual love and respect for books and arts. We were basically nerding it out and I actually started reading more and indulging more in my sketchbook just to keep pace with her. We had graduated from being mere acquaintances to distant friends. That is when I crossed the line. I texted
Me: do you mind meeting me outside for a coffee?
She saw it and reverted after 2 hours
Me: just to catch up.
Aparna: Are you asking me out?
After 30 mins
Aparna: i can’t… it’s inappropriate and I think you should stop msging
Me: sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you but…
I was snapped out of trance when I saw her walk in the coffee shop with her shopping bags trailing, dressed in a body hugging black V neck tshirt and curvy blue jeans. I stood up fumbling pleasantly surprised to find her there. My mouth went dry with nervousness and my heart started pounding. It may seem like a casual encounter to a third person but I knew I had won the gambit I had played. She was here against all odds not being in my favour. She had everything – a loving husband, adorable kids, friends basically a social standing. küçükçekmece escort Yet she was here with a guy younger than her in a coffee shop for no rhyme or reason. Had she been repulsed with the thought she would have not come or worst blocked me for good but here she was here in flesh and blood standing in front of me brooding. She was here to hear my proposal that I had so vehemently practiced.
I smiled smugly but she just kept staring at me flatly without betraying any emotion. I can never forget that poker face. The fact that she was here had given me immense confidence to take this forward. I knew I had an upper hand and I could not drop the ball now. I casually offered her a seat to which she flatly refused. She asked to finish the coffee and come out. I quickly took out my wallet kept INR 500 on the table and left without finishing the coffee. I followed her to the car and got in. It was afternoon time and most of the roads were deserted considering it was a working day. She drove us around for a while to remote site without saying a word. All my attempts for a small talk were thwarted by venomous stare. I felt like I was loosing my edge somehow she had read my mind and was trying to twist the situation in her favour wriggle out.
But I had neatly set the context here. In our message exchange the other night, after expressing the inappropriateness of my request by giving multiple rationales she had started reprimanding me for my irresponsible and wishful thinking and I could sense that from the tone of messages. After reading a few of her messages, I got supremely pissed at being scolded like a child (though my approach and wish list was child-like) and reacted accordingly giving her peace of mind. I put an end to it by offering her a proposal which she can hear out the next day at the coffee shop at 1pm and said bye.
We came to a screeching halt at a remote place and she stared at me.
Aparna: “What do you want?”
Me: “honestly… you!”
Aparna: “Are you fucking out of your mind you loser? What made you think I would be remotely interested in this?” (Pointing at me)
I realised she wanted to discourage me by belittling me. But Knowing her for the last few days, I was prepared.
Me: “The fact that you came here…”
Aparna: “I am here to tell you to walk away without any consequences. You are playing with fire here…”
Me: “Am I? Or are you?”
Aparna(mellowing down): “listen it wont work… don’t push it…”
Me: “I don’t know if you have noticed but the lines have pushed here. You should not have come. But now that you are here… you might as well hear me out…”
She sat there in silence and I took it as a signal to proceed.
Me: “I know you have everything that is socially desired and acceptable but what I have to offer caters to those inner currents. That inner desire we keep suppressing with the fear of being socially outcast… of losing everything that we have worked for all our life… things we cherish… All of this is completely acceptable and is the harsh truth. But what if… i gave you an opportunity to have the forbidden fruit. “
Aparna: “But I don’t want this forbidden fruit!”
Me: “don’t you? The. We are wasting our time here. We might as well go back and move on with our lives.”
We just sat there, neither of us saying anything. Finally she sighed.
Me: “I know you have the near perfect life with your fancy gadgets, expensive clothes, almost perfect love life… but deep down you miss the spark that I can offer.”
Aparna: “what can you offer?”
Me: “An escape from your monotony for our mutual benefit and at your convenience. It need not always be physical but an emotional duct to explore the flavours life has to offer.”
Aparna: “Why do you the spark is missing?”
Me: “I don’t… but if it wasn’t you wouldn’t be here.”
We sat in silent for few minutes then she stepped out and I followed. I walked up to her and held her hand facing her. She looked in my eyes confused trying to allay the storm I had stirred.
Me: “listen… I don’t have answers to all your questions kurtköy escort nor do I know how this will end… All I know is I have this inner urge of spending some part of my life in your company creating memories that I can reminisce and cherish later in life without having any regrets… I know its difficult to fathom the gravity of what I am asking you to embark on at this stage and I don’t expect an immediate answer. But whenever you decide and whatever you decide just let me know.”
Having said that I walked away. I don’t know how long she waited there. I waited for her response for hours staring at the screen, waiting for her message. The hours turned in days and days in weeks, but there was no message. She was clearly avoiding me because I barely saw her in the neighbourhood. The fire that had burned in me wildly the other day was dying a slow death. My drinking had increased and my appearance showed my state of mind – it was a mess.
After a few weeks, one night, after having copious amounts of beer I dozed off while watching TV. Around midnight my phone started buzzing along with incessant ringing of the bell. I woke groggily and walked towards the door and opened it. There she stood in her night robe with her phone in hand. As soon as the door opened, she pushed the door and came in nervously looking back if someone saw her walk in. I moved back still starting at her in disbelief. She shut the door and turned to face me. Now the only light in the room was from the TV that was on playing random things.
I opened my mouth to say something but my voice betrayed me there was just a small gasp I could muster. I looked at her and she looked drop dead gorgeous in that black silky night robe with a nighty inside. The neck line was plunging. I stared at her dumb founded with my mouth agape. She put her finger on my lips asking me to keep quiet. She then walked in the house towards the bedroom and I followed her in. In the darkness I stumbled about what seemed to be her robe lying on the floor. I quickly rushed to the bedroom my eyes adjusting to the darkness.
When I walked in, I saw her standing near the bed with her back to me. I went closer and turned her around and placed my lips on hers. The passion seemed to engulfed – what started as a peck turned in a snog and the next thing we know we are hungrily sucking on each other’s lips. I picked her broad frame and fell on the bed. We lost track of how long we were smooching. I perked up and got rid of my Tshirt and plunged to into her neckline lapping it up with the tip of my tongue. I pushed her knee length nighty to feel her wet lacy panty. One by one all our clothes came off. From the beginning I knew this was going to be more of a carnal satiation than an exploration. We kept on exploring each other biting and scratching anywhere and everywhere possible. Twisting and turning on the bed. Each trying to get an upper hand in doing things their way and satisfying his/her thirst. Eventually, after countless hickies across our chests and scratches on our backs accentuated by our occasional moans and huffs, I managed to pin her down and spread her legs.
I could sense it in the darkness that she wanted me in. The only light in the room was from outside falling faintly but squarely on her face. I could see her face contort as I pushed myself in. Both of us let out a small moan as I entered. I slowly started the rhythm matched by her staring in each others eyes. She put her legs around my waist and locked me in with her hand on my neck closing in as I increased my rhythm. I could feel my blood boil and air escaping my lungs as I tried hard to pound. The discomfort was palpable in my motion but she seemed to get a kick out of it as was evident by her increased motion to match mine and the heaving of her heavy breasts under my chest. I knew she was close as her rhythm was catching up faster. She finally climaxed by releasing her grip and crumpling the messed by sheets in fist and arching her back purported by a huge moan that would wake dead man up.
Watching her quiver like that along with the advent of fresh air in my lungs, I couldn’t control any longer and I shivered and unloaded in her with an equally loud moan that would entail when your deepest desire is quenched. I crumpled next to her after that immense orgasm and passed out. I don’t know when she got up and left. All I know is when I woke up, it was mid morning and I was lying on the bed spread out like the vitruvian man with a post it on my chest which read – Coffee shop at 4pm.
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